and ode to esme (for the plebians out there, it's ez-may NOT ez-me. but call her that just to piss her off please)

To my darling roomate called esme
i see you practically every day
however i still love you what can i say
you know that this ode is so not gay

i'm totally not writing this because you asked me to
i'm writing it because i'm so in love with you
because our names rhyme with the word lez
that's why everyone comes to visit ez and sez

you give me food when i whine
you complain about my mess all the time
but i know you'll be happy with this rhyme
because
u will.

(sorry couldn't think of anything that rhymes with ime. except for crime but let's not get into that)

AHAHHA see?! it's the meaningful last phrase they do in all those poems. it has enjambment and everything! i'm also so not doing this because you're chewing very threateningly beside my ear. i know you love me. no need to kiss me. GET OFF ME YOU LESBIAN.

an ode to flo:
courtesy of a few dear friends

flo the ho
never says no
so come on flo
give us a blow

sorry flo i couldn't resist.

10 things i love about flo

1) she can carry off ANY hair colour. and i mean ANY. her hair was dark purple the other day and she still looked hot

2) she can eat a whole 12 inch pizza with stuffed crust in one sitting. and extra ham. now that's just skilled.

3) she buys heat every week so i can read it while she pretends that she's let me

4) she can't keep a secret. even if the secret's wrong.

5) she draws indecent pictures of veneral root disease (not what you think it is) which is now sarah's hippy truck.

6) i've trained her to keep her feet off my bed and inhale her burps and run out of the dorm to fart. i love you so much flo.

7) she has the guts to want to learn how to play the bass GUITAR!!!! and the guts to play the air guitar when we have...ELASTIC BAND PRAC!!

8) she speaks a small amount of mandarin. she can now fluently tell everyone she has a bright yellow tie AND a small penis. beat that.

9) she taught me how to take a hint. and gives me cue cards

10) she writes me sweet but misspelt (sp? haha ironic i know) notes on my cup. i'm not a class A hard drug.

11) she's not cross that it's taken me so long to compile this list.

okay, well now this is esme. um...a list of 10 things i HATE about sarah:

1) she won't let me put my feet on her bed. honestly.

2) she does things i can't tell you about (AT NIGHT)

3) she draws pictures and puts them on her pinboard then PRETENDS we drew them so she looks popular. (except for the veneral root disease one)

4) she never gets up in the morning

5) she wouldn't use the bloody serum!

6) she's WAY too obsessed with coke for her own good

7) she stole my hoodie to put over the window on her door

8) she ALWAYS steals my food. even if i'm not here. according to her 'silence is consent'

9) she staples her rubber. what a pointless way to procrastinate.

10) she's such a mess AND she puts her laundry behind her bed

11) (i know there were only supposed to be 10, but they're just so easy to come up with) she shows me how she can take her bra off without revealing anything then MAKES me video it.

12) her hair is now towel-dry and she STILL hasn't used the bloody serum

13) she's one mean, green (yep), dancing machine

14) she's really evil to me about the mayfair shirt. honestly.

5 things i love about sarah (i don't think there are more than that...)

1) (these are so much harder to think of) she lets flo put staples down her top

2) she lends me her necklace

3) she tells me what to wear

4) she's my buddy in turning away certain people who ask for help with maths prep

5) she DID actually use the serum once

6) (okay, there can be more than 5) she trusts me to write nice stuff here

7) she's moans with me about people who do number 2s in the bathroom which stink up our dorm.

8) i taught her how to use a tampon

9) she helped me with my chem prep this morning

10) we have deep, philosophical conversations late at night

11) she read prep and now we can talk about...LESBIAN HUMPING...EW.

FINALLY...flo gets to leave a post.
(i'm the cool one....if you don't know who i am then ask sarah)

10 reasons I love Sarah

1) she makes my boobs look HUGE in comparison to her lol

2) she's my one tree hill buddy (I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED)

3)the appalling table manners (although Cynthia So is just a tad worse)

4) she forced esme off the computer for me

5) she loves Foof

6) she has a secret crush/obsession with "Ports"

7) she accepts all my secrets (even the ones that no-one should ever have known...uh oh)

8) she lets me put staples down her top

9) she tells me all her secrets (even though she knows it causes me great pain to keep them)

10) I'm addiced to her -the class-A drug (bad I know) she'll get me into mensa when I'm older and she can perform brain surgery on me when she's QUALIFIED doctor. I LOVE YOU XXXXXXXXXXX

rachel WAS going to type 10 things she loves about me but she CAN'T THINK OF ANY...and jenn is just useless. JUST USELESS. don't give me that look jenn.

i love sarah...'S IPOD.

Hey it's Rach. APparently i'm supposed to write things i like about sarah but i really can't think of any so i'm just going to think for a bit. be back soon. JUST KIDDING HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. good joke rachel, good joke rac

sorry i just cut rachel off there but we have to go watch the house music competition.

er bye?